The biggest mess ever!

Every morning before Asher gets out of bed, he quietly gets up and takes all of his wipes out of the containers (we have 2) and the big bag of extras, balls them up into little wads, and strews them around his room. Well, I had had about enough of that after a week, so last night I put the wipes where he couldn't reach them being the clever mom that I am. Well, this morning when Keely heard him singing, she opened his door, and came running to me, "mom, mom, asher got the diaper cream and it's all over his hands!" In fact it was all over everything his g'ma blanket has it caked in (sorry mom), his favorite big bean bag bear is covered in it (sorry other g'ma), and his hair is still disgusting to touch: the stuff doesn't come out of anything!! The carpet was the easiest and it took about an hour (it's still not all gone). I just gave up on his jamies after a run through the wash was fruitless and tossed them in the trash - I mean, how do you clean something that repels water? It's impossible! If anybody knows anything that I couldn't find out please let me know! especially for his hair - washing it does nothing...he's like a little grease ball that smells like baby butt.